How I Navigated Through Life Alone Without Being Lonely

There's a stigma of being alone in a society that sees singlehood as a lonely state. That's why people are so terribly afraid of living life alone. They thought it's the scariest thing to hit life. But it's not really how things looked like in singlehood.

I've come to surpass that stage where people view life as a ball of misfortune without someone. Somehow, I have outgrown the general concept of loneliness and aloneness. Somehow, I have accepted the fact that I might sail into the sunset of my life alone.

Over the years, I have developed my wisdom to accept things that I can't change, to conform with destiny and to just live at the moment.

Being alone does not necessarily mean we're lonely or we're broken or we constantly experience being dumped by someone. Being alone means a time to reconnect with our inner-self, a time to reflect, a time to reassess life's plans, a time to pose what's the best thing to do, what goals to map, a time to ponder on what we've missed and how to make up with all those misses.

But, yeah, I know that's not how the society thinks about aloneness. People who are in relationships think being alone but not lonely is just a sort of defense mechanism of singles.

But aloneness is not totally about loneliness. That's two different things. It's only on how people view aloneness that makes it appear sad. But  I'm always on the side of making decisions that make me happy or make me a person that I want to be and not on how the society thinks about me.

But it's not easy.

I'm telling you. It's not easy to live a life alone. There's a lot of emotional struggle along the way, sort of personal battle to conquer demons. Worries ramming in my head about what happen in the long run.

We're in a morbid age where living alone is not a norm, where being alone is uncomfortable because everyone expects us to have or be with someone or at least surrounded with people, friends, colleagues. So when we're alone and doing things on our own they think we're lonely or broken or difficult to deal with.

And on top of that we're constantly battling with the subconscious sadness of not having someone to share life's moments, the biological need of intimacy, the joy of companionship of having a partner and the constant struggle of emptiness. It's a hell of a personal battle that we need to conquer alone.

I am alone all my life.

Not that it's an entire choice. But circumstances made it complicated, pushing me more to a situation where I have no choice but to live alone. It's 50  percent choice 50 percent destiny anyway. But as time goes by, I have learned to embrace it without complaining. Half of it is a choice, a decision. It has been  my ultimate wish to be in a relationship only once in my life. And ever since I made that pact with God when I was 13 I haven't met someone who really expressed genuine interest on me.

In other words, time has not allowed me to meet someone who sees me differently, who sees my worth and ready to take me in. I met few men in the course of my journey. Yes. And there are instances that I like some of them. And initiated a communication on one of them. But it did not last. None of them show interest of bringing things to the next level.

So I remained alone in my secluded world. And left nothing but hope and patience. Hope that someday God will reveal His special gift for me. And well, patience is a virtue.

Though there are times that I am feed up being alone and wish there's someone I could talk to in a day or go into adventure somewhere, I did not let aloneness consumed my sunny disposition.

I just treated it as a blessing from God and believe someone is still reserve for me to let me feel how great life is having someone on my side. Anyway,  even if I am surrounded with people I always felt alone. I always felt no one is there to spend a day with. So what makes it different of living life alone?

Yes, there are times that I always felt people have avoided me, some have pushed me away and don't want me to be in their circle. In the past, I took it badly to my heart which thoroughly developed my insecuirities and the feeling of rejection. Now, I am used to it. And never dwell too much on it. I take it as a challenge to be strong and independent.

Now, as I navigate my life alone, I am trying hard to stay focus on my goals, on my strength without any distraction of the negativity of singlehood. I try not to succumb to the pressure of the society. I try not to think that everyone I would meet will reject me and avoid me. Life offers different circumstances, different stories.

I am combating the idea of loneliness by writing and traveling. And take comfort with the fact that I still have the freedom to do it while young. I'm always contented when I'm on the road, seeing beautiful things in the environment, witnessing the wonders of the world, discovering new things in places I am exploring, experiencing the energy of life, learning from other cultures, taking pictures and keeping the memories. It keeps me alive and inspired.

Asking if there's something I have missed because I have never been with someone. I guess none. I have fully lived my life the way I always wanted it to be. I am able to sort out things what's important and what to avoid.

I have worked out my insecuirities. I understood how the world works on. I figured out what's the best thing to do. I have made myself complete. I understood life's complexities. I have worked on what's necessary for my personal growth. I have my full life ahead. I am who I am. And when the time comes for me to meet "the one", I know I won't crack under pressure.

I lived for the moment. Enjoy life as it happens. And let tomorrow take care for itself. "Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards".