Being single is fine. Even on Valentine's day. For so long, people associated the day of hearts to individuals who are taken, married or in a relationship. As though singles have no right to celebrate it themselves.
Through this concept of Valentine's day, singles ultimately became the subject of humiliation and discrimination comes February 14.
But for someone who has never been into a relationship, I don't see why I should feel sad on Valentine's just because I'm single.
Chill! Being single is not a curse nor a misfortune. It's a vocation, a gift from God that must be appreciated with gratitude. And must be cherished. I hope people would realize that.
While society tends to discriminate singles and view it as a sad circumstance. I consider it as an opportunity to know myself better.
In great contrast to people's idea that it's a lonely state. I haven't felt that way. I'm always a happy person, a grateful person towards life despite not being in a relationship ever since.
Singleness has so many advantages. It lets me see life in a wider perspective. It helps me grow into a more independent person. It makes myself whole and smart. Being single for a long time taught me a lot. It develops my wisdom and helps me evolved into a mature person, being sensitive to my environment.
Feeling sad is normal. That's part of life's cycle. Even people in a relationship feel sad and lonely at times. No one is spared. But over the years, I've learned how to cope up with the feeling of loneliness.
Though, yes, at some point I felt so fed up with the circumstances around me. Self-defeating questions crept into my head at times: Why men did not dash towards me. Why I am always overlooked. Why no one takes me in. Perhaps, I lack something. Perhaps I don't have any of the characteristics that men are looking for in a woman or in an ideal girlfriend. Perhaps, I am unattractive and undesirable. Perhaps, I don't possess anything that fascinates men.
And all those "perhaps" kept repeating in my mind like broken records, ruining my self-confidence. For so long, I did not see myself as worthy of anything. Until lately, when I began to shift my focus on things that matter in the long run.
Being single humbles me and keeps me grounded. I always feel blessed that I am still single at this point in time because I still have the opportunity to overhaul my life plans and map long term goals. I still have the freedom to do whatever I want, work on the things that I love and go on adventure to experience life in the clearer sense.
Social Stigma of Singleness
The reason why people are afraid of remaining single all through out is because of the social stigma that comes along with being single. It's the society that puts dark patterns to singlehood. It's the people's concept of happiness that destroys the awesome concept of singleness. Society expects everyone to get hook or to be with someone, and when you carve a different path, people thought you're a jerk or simply unattractive.
This stigma is more highlighted when Valentine's day comes. A season where everyone thought you should be snagging someone or you should be getting cozy with the person you are madly in love with. So it feels like a judgment day for singles when this season comes. The surrounding, and even shopping malls and gift stores, let you feel it's a "Single Awareness Day".
Whether by choice or by circumstance, Valentine's Day let everyone's feel it sucks being single. Then one starts wondering what life has to offer in a world swathed in red and filled with bouquet of red roses, heart-shaped balloons and chocolates and stuffed toys. It's a hell of a struggle.
Fear not. I would tell myself as a consolation. Being single is fine. Even on Valentine's day. It's no difference from other days. Sun will still rise from the East and sets on the West that day, the rotation of the earth is still 24 hours that day with no extras with or without someone. So never get morose nor feel despair. Everything stays the same.
Through the years that I've grasped my life alone without ever experiencing a romantic involvement I have come to realize that life is still the same. Moments will still come and happiness is still present. Each day, even if I am walking alone, I can still feel the beauty of life and the wonders of the universe.
But, yes, there are series of emotional upheaval. The constant struggle of watching myself feeling left out and overlooked, the longing for intimacy, the self-defeating thoughts of feeling unwanted or unattractive. Everything seems like daggers that pierced on my skin.
But, yes, there are series of emotional upheaval. The constant struggle of watching myself feeling left out and overlooked, the longing for intimacy, the self-defeating thoughts of feeling unwanted or unattractive. Everything seems like daggers that pierced on my skin.
I have to wage a silent war thinking why I can't be with someone. Then the countless perhaps disturbed my mind. Perhaps, I lack something. Perhaps, I don't have any of the characteristics men are looking for in a woman. Perhaps, I am not worthy to be risked off.
But lately, I finally discarded all the perhaps in my mind. I've come to terms with my destiny that life is just like this and I should accept it and learn to live with it. Moments can be powerful and meaningful too if I would dart my focus on things that matter to me in the long run.
But lately, I finally discarded all the perhaps in my mind. I've come to terms with my destiny that life is just like this and I should accept it and learn to live with it. Moments can be powerful and meaningful too if I would dart my focus on things that matter to me in the long run.
So how's Valentine's day to someone who has never been into a relationship?
It feels like pink and peach. Pure and sublime. If I would paint Valentine's day in a canvass, I would put pastel of pink and peach with tulips and baby's breath.
That's how Valentine's day appears to someone like me who has never been into a relationship. No complication and pressure. I would associate it to food and dessert. Because that's how I celebrated Valentine's day when I was still working in school. My colleagues and I would spend Valentine dinner in a fine restaurant with lots of food and desserts.
It's a normal day, just like any other passing day. I have outgrown my tendency to sulk on Valentine's day. I have accepted my destiny. I resolved to enjoy my journey in the road of life rather than succumb to loneliness just because I still have no one to share moments on the day of hearts.
That's how Valentine's day appears to someone like me who has never been into a relationship. No complication and pressure. I would associate it to food and dessert. Because that's how I celebrated Valentine's day when I was still working in school. My colleagues and I would spend Valentine dinner in a fine restaurant with lots of food and desserts.
It's a normal day, just like any other passing day. I have outgrown my tendency to sulk on Valentine's day. I have accepted my destiny. I resolved to enjoy my journey in the road of life rather than succumb to loneliness just because I still have no one to share moments on the day of hearts.
But I am a romantic type because I love everything about the cuteness and sweetness of the celebration. Each time I saw red embellishments and arrangement in the shopping malls and gift stores, I sigh with gladness. All those heart-shaped trinkets, stuffed toys, balloons and roses tickled my senses. One Valentine's day I bought a heart-shaped pillow and red box for myself because I find it super cute and I know no one will buy it for me haha!
It's a day also to assure myself that there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that no one is ready to share moments with me or no one is willing to share his life with me. But it did not diminish my value as a person. I am still worthy to someone else's eyes, although I am wondering if I could still meet that someone in my lifetime, someone who would look at me differently.
But Valentine's day is not a remorse day for me, it is a great day to celebrate life, a beautiful day to recognize feelings in my heart that I am still capable of loving someone. Being alone does not mean I am lonely. It means a chance to understand life better.
The season of love is a day to feel appreciated, a day to recognize one's value, an opportunity to show to the society that singleness is not a curse, that being single is fine.
As I move forward in my journey, I have learned to embrace my life as it is, being alone on Valentine's day does not mean I am regretful or lonely or sad, it means I am grateful that I live another day to witness the gift of life. To witness it unfold. This valentine's day I will treat myself to dinner or buy something special to mark the occasion. I will celebrate the day alone with a happy heart.
It's a day also to assure myself that there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that no one is ready to share moments with me or no one is willing to share his life with me. But it did not diminish my value as a person. I am still worthy to someone else's eyes, although I am wondering if I could still meet that someone in my lifetime, someone who would look at me differently.
But Valentine's day is not a remorse day for me, it is a great day to celebrate life, a beautiful day to recognize feelings in my heart that I am still capable of loving someone. Being alone does not mean I am lonely. It means a chance to understand life better.
The season of love is a day to feel appreciated, a day to recognize one's value, an opportunity to show to the society that singleness is not a curse, that being single is fine.
Here's to singles how to treat Valentine's day.
- Do not panic, it's just a normal day like other days
- Embrace who you are and remind yourself that you are worthy and beautiful it's just that no one is ready to share a life with you.
- Love your singleness - the only way to stay happy and not succumb to peer pressure when you are single is acceptance. Embrace who you are and accept what life has to offer.
- Avoid being swept away by the tide according to Wikihow - do not allow yourself to be influenced by what the marketing machine of business establishments is telling people about Valentine's day or how others display romantic gestures with loved ones. Just be yourself and carve a different happiness path,
- Treat yourself - this works for me I am telling you. I always buy something for myself every Valentine's day, whether it's a stuffed toy or a cute heart-shaped items. It brings happiness to my day.
If you are thinking of dining somewhere, please check my food blog feature about the most romantic restaurants in Metro Manila fit for Valentine dinner celebration.
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