Anxious To Go Back To Work After The Long Period of Home Quarantine

Strange anxiety. Perhaps due to the long period of isolation and being home quarantined for such a long time. I am anxious to go back to regular work again.

It's been four months since I quit my job in the BPO, in time for the Enhanced Community Quarantine in Metro Manila. So, it's been four months also that I am isolating at home.

Other than grocery, I have not gone anywhere.  So now, I feel anxious to go outside again. Like, I am no longer use mingling with people. And undergo the ordeal of catching a ride.

Such a terrible mindset I am having now.

Metro Manila was already placed into ECQ by the time I ended my employment in BPO, I was not able to work again in my next job. Supposed to be on March 23, 2020 in the university but there was no work from home arrangement in school and I was just told to wait until ECQ will be lifted.

When it was lifted last May 31 and transitioned to General Community Quarantine, the school still did not give me a clear instruction when to start working, I was just told by their HR to just wait for advise since the admin were still on discussion with the work arrangement.

By July, things still vague, the management still on discussion, they still could not decide when new hires need to report to work. So I started looking for another job. 

Anxiety After Long Period of Lockdown

Tomorrow will be my first day in the new job. But I am not super excited, I am anxious with so many worries fogging my mind. 

Is this the result of having too long living in home isolation?

Have not felt this bizarre emotion since then. I have switched job so many times before but this is the first time I felt so awful having to report to work for the first time.

Like, I do not want to leave the house. I don't want to leave our cats, I don't want to give up this life in isolation because I find this very comfortable, living alone in the house without anyone to fuss around.

I am terribly worried to start all over again. I am apprehensive. I am uncertain what to expect. I am anxious to meet new people in the new environment again. Another period of adjustment. Another moment of awkwardness.

I am supposed to sleep now but I am perturbed. I am troubled.

Perhaps, this is how life feels after the long period of being stuck in home quarantine. So many apprehensions clouding my brain. So many concerns. 

More than safety and health reason, there's a big issue of separation anxiety. Anxious to leave home and left behind the hobbies and routine I cultivated during lockdown.

I have created a daily plan during home quarantine and now, after four months everything will be changed again.

I am scared to start anew. I am scared to go back to regular job again.

But perhaps, this too shall pass. 

I should be grateful I have a job to look forward in this difficult time.